what i mean is, ones who loved the meetings and field service.
ones who loved telling a person why they dont celebrate christmas, birthdays etc etc.........................ones who thought it wonderful that their children missed out on so much, and stood out in school and became a target for bullying.. i myself did everthing because i was terrified of the big "a" and so thought everything was worth it.
but i hated going to meetings, hated going on fs, hating not celebtating christmas and never really excepted the birthday thing.
Yes, I thought there were quite a few that I knew. My parents being among them. There were definately those who were worn out and not so happy, I could tell that in my young years but there were always those really good ones, the ones that made the rest of us feel insignificant.
MMO
i've been lurking on this website for quite some time, but haven't quite gotten the strength to post until now.
for obvious reasons, i cannot reveal my identity.
although my "family" nows that i am no longer a witness and celebrates holidays, they still have "hope" for me.
Welcome!! Thanks for sharing your story, you will find many people here who can relate! Look forward to hearing more from you.
MMO
after laylas' : do you think looks are important thread, thought this would be a good follow up.. personally i'm just a regular girl, nothing exception, got good teeth, i do love my hair and don't think i'm ugly, but know that i'm no stunner either .
so come on be honest - how do you rate yourselves..
Yes I do. I am not as thin as I would like to be but I am definately above average.
I also think I am just as beautiful on the inside, maybe even more so!
MMO
i wonder if anyone else who grew up as a jw can relate with me on this subject.. i grew up hearing stories of 'faithful brothers & sisters' being tortured to a point where they were almost dead.
all they had to do to be set free was renounce jehovah and their religon.
the stories i heard of torture were graphic in nature and to this day i can not handle hearing about torture or watch it being portrayed in movies.
misspeaches,
I can totally, TOTALLY relate to you!! I am completely unable to watch or listen to anything torture related. If by chance, I happen to see something on TV before being able to switch the channel, it triggers crying spells for days, nightmares and a really awful state of mind to the point where I think I am going crazy!! I still remember the horrible details of things I heard about the JW's being in the concentration camps from when I was little.
My brother is exactly the same way. I don't know how to overcome this...
MMO
... birthdays too!.
well, not yet, but if the governing body decides that it's okay to celebrate christmas and birthdays .... how do you suppose the typical jw would feel ... especially those who lived their whole life being told to not celebrate and.
wishing they could?.
It wouldn't happen, but if it did - they would find a way to justify it of course. Another new light, what a blessing!!
MMO
seems likes i'm annoying others and hurting feelings on quite a few occassions when i post here.. oh, well.
when i first came here, i was a people-pleasing wimp.
i express my real opinions now and i'll be damned if i ever go back to silencing myself just to fit in.
Glad you are embracing the real you! If your not being yourself, who are you being?
MMO
do you realize that when we were witnesses, we believed these "apostate" sites were nothing less than "spiritual pornography"?
Yup, guess I'm a porn addict!
MMO
It's alright, could be better and could be worse.
I do type a lot better.
MMO
how often did you have to talk yourself into going out?.
how often did you wait till the end of the month to get some time in?.
how often did you fudge your time?.
I absolutely hated it!! I pretty much had to pioneer so I was very resentful of the whole thing. The only remedy was to work with someone fun or someone I really liked and then it became somewhat bareable. I just prayed for my partner to have a long call so that I could just listen and waste time.
I didn't fudge my time too much, but when working with people from other congregations, we would go to RV's in each others territories and that would eat up a lot of time. Or I would go to an RV that was way in the country who I knew would probably not be home in order to waste time.
I was extremely drained after I went out. And then I had to go to a meeting or personal study after. No break ever.
It was awful and I don't miss it for anything!
MMO
in my 35 years as a witness,there have been many elders in my congregation who were old,sick,tired,weak,and could hardly walk.
they had a hard time reading the material,couldn't remember names, and sometimes forgot where they were in their reading material and talks.they never stepped down as elders.. what are the reasons why most never step down?
can they be asked to step down because of age?
What would they do without the star treatment??
MMO
